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Loving our Spouse When They are Unlovable

I'm not sure about you but reading Jesus' words concerning loving unlovable people is a gut check...

I mean... He covers all the bases... and that's great until you get to Matthew 5 or Luke 6.

Now it's time to pump the brakes.

We've been talking about marriage in the month of May and if any scripture is assaulting to self-conservation... it's this business right here!

If you want to be selfish in your marriage... DO NOT read the scriptures listed above... move along, there is nothing to see here!

In Matthew 5 or The Sermon on the Mount, Jesus literally tells us that the definition of cheating has changed... it's no longer when you have sex with someone that is not your spouse... oh no... the new definition is if you LOOK at someone with desire in your heart! You don't have to take off your clothes... initiate conversation... make arrangements to meet... No Sir... it's a mere LOOK!

What kind of garbage is this?

It's Jesus identifying the garbage in our heart, that's what it is!

Here we are trucking along butt hurt because Jesus just told us that adultery isn't what we think it is and now we have to check our hearts... not our hands and the next thing you know... He's preaching again. This time... it's The Sermon on the Plain in Luke 6... and this time... He IS NOT PLAYING.

We gon learn today!

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that."

What in the world?

The implications of this are huge, so let's just narrow it down to the implications in marriage: Love your spouse when they are unlovable.

It's so easy to give to my husband when he is loving and attentive but you give me a day when he is practicing gymnastics on my last nerve... that's a different story!

Do you guys feel this?

In seasons when marriage is hard... I mean... "I can't live like this anymore" hard, it's even more imperative to lean into what Jesus is saying.


Because hurt people hurt people.

Have you ever noticed that when you are deep in stress or you feel a heavy weight, most times you are more snappy than usual... maybe more distant? It's hard to love snappy, distant people. In those times, I'm sure your spouse would say you are hard to love.

But what is it you need in that moment?

Love and understanding.

But what are you actually doing?

Pushing your spouse away.

Your spouse has those days too.

Seasons even.

And that's why marriage is a covenant.

It says, I will love you even in your unlovable seasons.

Please know we believe in boundaries and safety in marriage and those things should not be compromised for your own mental and spiritual well-being.

But even then love is still on the table. Love can be done in person or from a distance.

But nonetheless, loving the unlovable... regardless of how they love us... this is what separates Jesus lovers from the rest of the world.

So... how about you? How is your love game?

Are you experiencing the fact that love is our most renewable resource because it comes from Jesus,


Are you tapping into His power not because He HAS love but because He IS love?

For those that love Jesus... that same source lives IN you.

So again, how is your love game? On a scale of 1-10... where are you at? We can all love more, so give yourself grace... but remember to give your spouse grace as well.

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